francesca bambino d'onofrio
Stamford mediator has developed some techniques for success in mediation Posted on October 20, 2012
Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator has developed some techniques for success in mediation. The following would be very basic principles to be applied appropriately to the intended and disputed issues.
Basic Principles:
Basic Principles:
Involve all concerned parties
Gather information first
Negotiate second
Information Gathering Tools
Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator also suggests:
Active Listening
http://francescabambinodonofrio.com/wp-admin/profile.php
Communicate interest: “I want to understand your view.”
Builds rapport: “He wants to hear my side.”
Use gestures & sounds to show listening.
And finally, Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator says to
Repeat Technique
Repeat the vague word with inflection: “This is difficult?” “Difficult?”
Other will clarify repeated word.
Builds rapport: “She’s listening to my concerns.”
Draws other out.
Gather information first
Negotiate second
Information Gathering Tools
Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator also suggests:
Active Listening
http://francescabambinodonofrio.com/wp-admin/profile.php
Communicate interest: “I want to understand your view.”
Builds rapport: “He wants to hear my side.”
Use gestures & sounds to show listening.
And finally, Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator says to
Repeat Technique
Repeat the vague word with inflection: “This is difficult?” “Difficult?”
Other will clarify repeated word.
Builds rapport: “She’s listening to my concerns.”
Draws other out.
Probe
Open-ended questions
Begins with who, what, when, where, how, in what way,
in which way, under what conditions.
Avoid “Why?” Sounds judgement. Makes people defensive.
Open-ended questions
Begins with who, what, when, where, how, in what way,
in which way, under what conditions.
Avoid “Why?” Sounds judgement. Makes people defensive.
Keep other talking. Can’t answer with yes or no, must expound.
Avoid leading questions – questions that have content or contain the answer.
Avoid leading questions – questions that have content or contain the answer.
Poor: “Do you think that … ?” Better: “What do you think?”
Poor: “Did she say that … ?” Better: “What did he say?”
Best: “What happened?”
Poor: “Did she say that … ?” Better: “What did he say?”
Best: “What happened?”
Avoid closed questions
Can be answered with yes or no.
Closed questions are leading questions.
They begin with “Did …?” “Will …?” “Are . . ?”
“Isn’t … ?” “Wasn’t …?” “Weren’t …?”
As well, Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator asks the mediator to consider the following:
Check Out
Be tentative. Don’t tell; ask.
“Do you mean … ?”
“I get the feeling …?”
“Am I right in saying . . ?”
“Tell me if I understand, do you …?”
You are seeking a yes/no confirmation of your check out.
Can be answered with yes or no.
Closed questions are leading questions.
They begin with “Did …?” “Will …?” “Are . . ?”
“Isn’t … ?” “Wasn’t …?” “Weren’t …?”
As well, Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator asks the mediator to consider the following:
Check Out
Be tentative. Don’t tell; ask.
“Do you mean … ?”
“I get the feeling …?”
“Am I right in saying . . ?”
“Tell me if I understand, do you …?”
You are seeking a yes/no confirmation of your check out.
Specific Check Out
Check understanding of general statement with a specific possibility.
Statement: “This design has a lot of problems.”
Specific Check Out: “Do you mean you think it has build in bias.”
Check understanding of general statement with a specific possibility.
Statement: “This design has a lot of problems.”
Specific Check Out: “Do you mean you think it has build in bias.”
General Check Out
Check out understanding of a specific statement with a generalization.
Statement: “This data is incomplete, inconsistent, and gathered
under questionable conditions.”
Specific Check Out: “Do you mean you think the design is flawed?”
Check out understanding of a specific statement with a generalization.
Statement: “This data is incomplete, inconsistent, and gathered
under questionable conditions.”
Specific Check Out: “Do you mean you think the design is flawed?”
Feeling Check Out
Check out your perception of other’s feelings. “Do you mean you feel …?”
Statement: “This data is a mess and it’s been dumped on me with no warning.”
General Check Out: “Do you mean you feel discouraged?”
Check out your perception of other’s feelings. “Do you mean you feel …?”
Statement: “This data is a mess and it’s been dumped on me with no warning.”
General Check Out: “Do you mean you feel discouraged?”
Uncovers concerns and interests
Silence
Use with active listening – such as nodding silently
Use when other is on the topic
Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator discusses ways to just sum it up:
Review & Sum Up
“Let me see if I’ve got it.” + State point 1, point 2, point 3
“To summarize … ” + State point 1, point 2, point 3
End with “Is there anything else?”
“Do I understand correctly?”
Signals when to go to brainstorming solutions.
Silence
Use with active listening – such as nodding silently
Use when other is on the topic
Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator discusses ways to just sum it up:
Review & Sum Up
“Let me see if I’ve got it.” + State point 1, point 2, point 3
“To summarize … ” + State point 1, point 2, point 3
End with “Is there anything else?”
“Do I understand correctly?”
Signals when to go to brainstorming solutions.
Give Information
Describe Your Concerns
Describe Your Concerns
Tell the problem as you see it
State “Just the facts, Ma’am.”
Be specific: avoid vague words -describe situations, behaviors or outcomes
Be objective; avoid judgemental and emotional labels
Be concise; don’t ramble and repeat
Describe one issue at a time
Don’t defend and justify
State “Just the facts, Ma’am.”
Be specific: avoid vague words -describe situations, behaviors or outcomes
Be objective; avoid judgemental and emotional labels
Be concise; don’t ramble and repeat
Describe one issue at a time
Don’t defend and justify
Express your interests and feelings
Use “I” statements – “What X happens, I feel … .”
Avoid speculating on other’s motives. Don’t blame.
Use “I” statements – “What X happens, I feel … .”
Avoid speculating on other’s motives. Don’t blame.
Negotiate an Action Plan
Elicit suggestions
Elicit suggestions
Ask: “What do you suggest?”
Allow face saving
Check with all parties involved
Check with all parties involved
“She suggests that … . What do you think of that?”
If rejected, elicit a suggestion
If rejected, elicit a suggestion
“If that doesn’t work for you. What do you suggest?”
Concentrate on what you each will do.
Specify behaviors and outcomes
Concentrate on what you each will do.
Specify behaviors and outcomes
Get agreement from all parties involved
Don’t demand equal give and take
Avoid limited pie approach; go for win-win
Best when written and signed by all parties involved
Don’t demand equal give and take
Avoid limited pie approach; go for win-win
Best when written and signed by all parties involved
Review and Sum Up Action Plan
“I will XYZ and you will RST. Is that agreed?”
“I will XYZ and you will RST. Is that agreed?”
Acknowledge
“This looks like a good plan. You deserve a lot of credit for it?”
“This looks like a good plan. You deserve a lot of credit for it?”
Schedule Follow Up
Don’t expect perfection. Renegotiate to fine tune
Don’t expect perfection. Renegotiate to fine tune
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Stamford mediator has developed some techniques for success in mediation Posted on October 20, 2012
Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator has developed some techniques for success in mediation. The following would be very basic principles to be applied appropriately to the intended and disputed issues.
Basic Principles:
Involve all concerned parties
Gather information first
Negotiate second
Information Gathering Tools
Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator also suggests:
Active Listening
http://francescabambinodonofrio.com/wp-admin/profile.php
Communicate interest: “I want to understand your view.”
Builds rapport: “He wants to hear my side.”
Use gestures & sounds to show listening.
And finally, Francesca Bambino D’Onofrio a Stamford mediator says to
Repeat Technique
Repeat the vague word with inflection: “This is difficult?” “Difficult?”
Other will clarify repeated word.
Builds rapport: “She’s listening to my concerns.”
Draws other out.
Probe